Tall, dark and handsome?

I wouldn’t call myself a romantic. I’m not completely heartless, but my perfect proposal would be, me and (insert dude’s name here) to be sitting on the couch, he looks over at me, says “You are pretty cool, fuck it, lets get married.” Reading that back, that’s actually quite depressing. Okay, now I want to be a some sort of resort with cocktails and get proposed to in our own private pool. As you can see, I have no idea what I want. My fantasy consists of me and the person that I get excited about in all senses to be like, “yeah Bridie, this is awesome, you are awesome, this could mos def work.”

When I took the plunge a couple of years ago to start online dating, I was excited. The thought of  dating real men and going out on real dates, with people that I had never met before, well it actually scared the hell out of me, but I decided to embrace that feeling. On a lazy Saturday afternoon, I decided that I would go online and see what the boys had in store for me. I came across someone, not necessarily my type, but I thought to myself why not? He looks okay and has nice brown eyes. Okay, do not forget the fact that I said he had nice eyes…We started to chat, he was really nice and friendly. I like to think of myself as a realist, so when he told me that he worked for the football team that I barrack for, I was more than skeptical. But, I had a card up my sleeve. Luckily that card is a reliable source and more importantly, my best friend. So while I am chatting to him/completing a thorough background check on the guy, he decides to call me. I hate the phone. I hate not being able to put someone at ease in person, just by smiling at them. I hate that we don’t know each other, so I don’t know, how this conversation is going to go down. Which turns me into a frightened school girl walking home from school, with a weird man following behind her. When in reality he is just going for a walk, picking flowers and shit for his wife. No, he is not a pedophile, the girl is just irrationally scared. Anyway, I speak to him. He turns out to be a really nice guy, so I am getting keener and I am hopeful. So when my best friend states that she does not really think that he is my type, I take it with a grain of salt. He asks if I am free that night to meet him. I decline, partly because I have to go to Clem’s birthday, partly because I want to know more about him. He explains that he is then off on a footy trip and won’t be home for 10 days. Perfect, nothing will be rushed. Clem’s party was hilarious and he text me most of the night, asking for my favourite numbers as those are the horses that he will put bets on. He had explained that they would be out of range for half of the time that he was going to be away. So over the next few days, the texts are constant. He seemed pretty keen, not in a strange way, just in a nice way. He called me before I went to sleep at night and started to call me babe. I have never been a fan of a pet name but I don’t mind getting called babe. Sure there was warning signs, he said his favourite movie was Sister Act and TV show was Border Patrol. Sister Act is an excellent movie, but when you are a 34 year old man, Come on!!! All of these factors were over looked because he was a nice guy. On the weekend, I kept on getting calls from a blocked number. When I finally realised it wasn’t a debt collector, I picked up the phone and it was him. He had walked to a pay phone to call me because he had no service. So sweet. We were both getting excited for our upcoming date on the night that he got back on the Tuesday. On the Sunday, he dropped his phone in water and it had died, so he called me; once off a mate’s phone, once off a coach’s phone and then finally from his hotel phone. The guy sure was keen. I was nervous but really excited. I had basically sent out a group email to everyone I knew, talking about this new guy and creating buzz for this major life event. It was finally Tuesday, I was leaving work early and my boss had given my special jewellery to wear, not over the top at all *cringing at myself*. I went home and completed the finishing touches. I got several texts about how we were going to go to gold class and he would pick me up from home. Rookie mistake number 1. Always drive and you do not want somebody knowing where you live, as my best friend does work with him and I figure he cant really murder me when all of Victoria knows that we are going out tonight. So I wait until he tells me that he is out the front…

 

You’ll just have to wait until next week to find out how it all turns out :p