My little puffer fish

I feel like everyone has that someone that they hate fuck/are indifferent to. This angel is no different. I have my sad clown fish that I’ll will refer to as Dom. I was less than impressed when I met him a few years ago. Clem had told me what a nice guy he was, but when I saw him, he was wasted and staring at my chest like my breasts would be his next meal. The next night the tables were turned, I was the obnoxious drunk guy. I called him a miserable cunt while we sat next to each other, looking each other up and down, being far from impressed. So I was not surprised, when I was minding my own business, licking the window at the back of the room, that he was telling Clem that her friend was a dick. To which, I kept on yelling that ‘I’m still in the room.’ It was such a funny night.

I will then fast forward to the night of pub’s Christmas Party. I tease Clem and say there were only two women at the party, myself and my then girl crush. But, of course, Clem was there rocking a $2 grey jumper from Kmart and was getting chat up by a 60 year old man in the corner. So I had my pick of the bar and I wanting a piece of the sword fish. I fought off the advances and Nurf bullets (Kris Kringle gifts) and walked Dom back to the pub where he lived which was a block away. We walked upstairs to where the magic happened.

I was anxious to get back to the party, so the stereotypical gender roles were reversed when he was asking me to ‘hold him’ but I had already thrown my leather jacket over my shoulder, lit my cigarette and said  ‘look dude, I’m out’ and left. I know, badass, right?

I got back to the pub and Clem asked why I was so sweaty. I gave her the eyes and a head gesture to shut up, but she asked me at least 10 more times in front of her boss. I was mortified. I forgot about it and we continued as though nothing had ever happened. Partly because he couldn’t remember that it actually did happen.

A few months later, some girl was hitting on him, so I wanted to show her that she was contending with me, so she left in a huff. I could now claim my prize that I only wanted because I had had some competition. Actually, I was indifferent but in an awkward situation. I had started a tab and left my credit card at the bar and had no cash on me to get home. Plus, I had just had a fight with my unattainable love and decided the best thing to do, would be to put out and stay at the pub.

The next morning my friend came and got me and I basically looked like we had had a one night stand and he was taking me out for breakfast after the fact. But he just lucked out and only got the breakfast part.

It had been ages since anything had happened. 0 awkwardness, except for the telling everyone that I had raped him at my birthday (slightly embarrassing). I still see him and it’s more than an underwhelming response that we greet each other with. Occasionally he rings me and I will take his drunk ass home, because I worry about him.

I wasn’t well a few months ago and joked to my best friend’s that I would be out of the game for the next six weeks so something better happen in the next two days. I went to see Clem at the pub in my track pants, hair up and no make-up to be seen, I was definitely there to pick up. So I dropped Clem off. Then Dom and I drove into an abandoned park and made out. But now we are back to complete indifference. It is so strange. I doubt anything will happen between us again, which is fine or whatever. Yawn, Lol.

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