A letter to my Unicorn

Dearest Unicorn,

Hi! How are you? Soooo I guess things have changed since I last saw you over a decade ago. I glanced over at you, numerous times when we were at the same party a few weeks ago. You have not changed much in the looks department. Still the same smile, still gorgeous.

When I saw you, I reverted back to my schoolgirl self. Shy and unsure of myself, hence why I did not come up to you and say the things that I have said to your family and my friends. I am not sure if you know why I call you my unicorn? Well you are one of them at least, I have two. But in regards to the other one, I mainly talk about his Dad and that I would mos def have a crack at him. I call you that because on the night where we could of hooked up, we did not. Actually, I did not even really know that you were hitting on me or think in this universe that you even wanted to hook up. I was young, cold, drunk and we were hiding in a shed. The stuff of true romance. In my memory, I look on point, my brown hair blowing in the wind, looking sexy. Yet, my makeup would have been smudged, my lipstick non existent, hair was probably wet with sweat from dancing to the sick beats at the pub.

I was completely naive. So ever since I found out we could have, I have wanted a piece.

Things I have said to your family include, “I will stepmum the shit out of your nieces and nephews.” I use the dramatic approach for maximum humour. I then described in great detail what I would do to you. But really I just want to live out my school girl dream of making out with you, cause you basically are sexy as fuck and therefore my unicorn. I feel so juvenile in writing this letter that you will probably never read but the world needs to know about the power of the unicorn.

Unicorns are usually different for guys and girls. Girl’s unicorns are usually a piece of ass that you could have had but things did not work out for a number of reasons, yet you both were keen. Guy’s unicorns on the other hand are more like dream girls, that things haven’t worked out but it’s because she is not usually keen. It’s a tough world for unicorns.

So yeah, I would probably say that you continue on being my unicorn. I hope you are happy and well 🙂 and I promise that when I keep on getting drunk and see your family, I will continue to say inappropriate things that I would never say in person because even though we are older, I will always be the shy, unsure girl that you used to know.


If you don’t have a unicorn…here is charlie the unicorn…he’s a pretty rad unicorn.